EQ (Emotional quotient)

EQ (Emotional quotient) or emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, control, and manage one's emotions effectively and appropriately in different situations. It involves having a stable mindset, a positive outlook on the world, exhibiting good behavior and social etiquette, and engendering emotionally competent individuals who empathize with others and can live harmoniously in society.

Why EQ, emotional quotient, is important?

EQ, emotional quotient, is instrumental in supporting and promoting a person's IQ (intelligence quotient) for success in life. EQ enables us to deal with problems and obstacles mindfully, creating awareness of their and others' emotions, and helping control, care for, and manage them more effectively. EQ assists individuals facing tense, stressful, harsh situations to make decisions calmly while also assisting them in finding a sound solution to the problem. The importance of EQ includes the following:

Contributing to success in life when IQ and EQ complement each other appropriately.
Enabling individuals to adapt well to others and live harmoniously with them.
Cultivating emotional maturity, a sense of responsibility, emotional self-control, and appropriate behavior.
Having empathy, public conscience, and compassion for others.
Facilitating a positive outlook, happiness, and stress management, which engenders a sense of self-satisfaction.

How many components does emotional intelligence have?

There are 5 components of emotional intelligence:

Self-awareness: The awareness of one's emotions which can affect thoughts and behavior. It includes recognizing strengths and weaknesses and having self-confidence.
Self-management: The ability to control, care for, and manage emotions. It involves thinking before acting, being open-minded, and adapting to situations.
Social awareness: The ability to perceive and understand others' emotions, empathize with them, and understand others' emotional nature. It also includes appropriate ways of dealing with others.
Relationship management: The ability to effectively develop and maintain relationships. It includes clear communication, easy to understand, being an example and inspiration to others, and resolving conflicts.
Self-motivation: Having strong desires and motivations to achieve goals, persevere in efforts, and not be discouraged by obstacles.

How many elements does emotional intelligence have?

Emotional intelligence consists of 3 elements:

Positive aspects

Having emotional readiness to coexist with others, knowing how to control one's emotions, accepting one's mistakes, forgiving others' mistakes, and knowing to give and take.
Being able to perceive and understand others' emotions, showing empathy appropriately.
Having a public conscience, a sense of responsibility for the collective, and the ability to inspire oneself and others.

Competence aspects

Possessing the motivation to develop oneself for success, the determination to improve oneself, and self-confidence.
Being able to adapt to different problems and situations, perceiving and understanding problems, making decisions to solve problems in steps effectively, and being flexible.
Having the ability to build good relationships with others, be assertive, being able to express different opinions constructively, be able to motivate people, and determination to achieve a goal.

Well-being aspects

Having a positive attitude, thinking positively, and feeling proud of oneself, recognizing self-worth and self-respect.
Being resilient in the face of adversity and challenges by managing stresses and handling emotions effectively.
Having self-satisfaction, a sense of humor, enjoying life, knowing how to unwind, and possessing equanimity.

These aspects collectively contribute to emotional intelligence and its development.

How to develop EQ or emotional intelligence?

The purpose of developing EQ or emotional intelligence is to help deepen self-understanding, increase self-awareness, and enable individuals to control and manage their emotions effectively, like individuals with emotional maturity. It helps understand emotions impacting thoughts and actions, leading to emotion management and good communication skills. The followings are the approaches for developing EQ or emotional intelligence:

Practicing self-awareness

Cultivate mindfulness or practice meditation to be aware of one's emotions to respond appropriately to others, such as recognizing when feeling angry or disappointed and being able to subdue them to express appropriate demeanor and negotiate with reasons.
Engage in self-reflection by journaling reasons behind various emotions and providing self-encouragement to remain calm and cope with challenging situations.

Recognizing how others feel

Apart from self-awareness, the ability to discern others' emotions is crucial for emotional intelligence. Assess and understand others' feelings, perceptions, and understanding in response to our communication, including verbal and non-verbal cues. Seek feedback from close friends or trusted individuals to improve communication skills and understand others' emotions.

Practicing active listening skills

Active listening involves focused attention on the conversational partner, capturing key points, tone, body language, and positive and negative responses. Listen attentively to show respect for the person speaking with you and build a good interpersonal relationship. Take notes of the main point, tone, and demeanor and review what was related to ensuring mutual understanding.

Clear and concise communication

Communication skills are indicative of emotional intelligence. Clear, straight-to-the-point communication and the courage to constructively express differing opinions help achieve a collaborative goal. In group communication, ask for clarification from the group or reiterate the essence of the discussion to ensure everyone is on the same page. In addition, a follow-up memo through other communication channels is worthwhile as a reminder.

Practicing a positive mindset

Maintaining a positive mindset is fundamental to emotional intelligence. Upholding positive thinking, even in tense situations, helps guide you toward solutions to problems and calms the people around you. Being a positive thinker also promotes problem-solving and teamwork. Workplace negative thinking may be commonplace, but training oneself to view the world positively reduces tension and helps solve problems.

Empathizing with others

Being mindful of others' feelings is another important aspect of emotional intelligence. Offering solace in times of sadness, disappointment, or hardship and showing empathy in challenging situations elevates one's emotional state. It helps create a pleasant social environment and enhances emotional intelligence.

Open-mindedness

Emotionally intelligent individuals are easily accessible because they possess good listening skills. They can consider and understand others' perspectives and are open to learning new things, novel ideas, and innovations. Although it may take time to grasp and understand, in the end, they can apply selected innovations to benefit their daily lives.

Listening to others' feedback

Emotionally intelligent individuals are open-minded, pay attention to feedback, suggestions, and opinions, and use it as a tool for personal growth and refinement of communication skills, regardless of hardship in implementation; a highly emotionally intelligent person will treat it as an opportunity for self-improvement and personal development.

Remain Calm Under Pressure

Emotional intelligence people can cope with tense, high-pressure situations with aplomb and a positive attitude, especially under time constraints. Keeping calm, focusing on the end goal, and steadfast determination for success are notable attributes of emotionally intelligent people. Facing a pressure cooker situation, steady your mind by mindful deep, slow breathing and setting priorities, which could encompass help from others to calm and steady your mind.

EQ: crucial attribute for life success

A high IQ alone may not be sufficient for success in life. On the contrary, average IQ paired with high EQ are highly conducive to long-term happiness and success. High EQ helps with gaining new knowledge, enhancing positive thinking, speaking, and actions, elevating mood and mind, and inspiring success.

Developing emotional intelligence requires consistent practice and self-reflection. Following these guidelines can improve their overall emotional intelligence and enhance EQ.

Article by
Dr Thitiporn Supasitthumrong

Geriatric Psychiatrist
Doctor profile